Daily agenda for tree turtle

without neil and julian, I don’t know what I’d do.

Lately been listening to Michael Hurley’s Parsnip Snips, the first Emitt Rhodes record, the first Left Banke LP and lots and lots of Robert Wyatt and The Beatles. They’re all really nice right now.

In the past day I’ve seen more elderly private parts than I thought I’d ever see. But here I am! Neil and I are gonna make a film!

Neil and I sang along to The Beatles really loudly after driving about 11 hours. Today was very nice but I may have experienced the scariest and most disturbing thing in my adult life. Scary, happy, sad and exciting times. I keep having moments of sincere joy, love and enthusiasm which are so intense its overwhelming but then moments later I become cynical about myself again. Swimming and beer by the ocean help keep cynicism away better than most things though.

I ran into the ocean alone in the early morning to see how it felt and to feel how my body would handle it. The water was cold but warmer than I expected. The waves were harsh and felt like they wanted to take me with them. I was scared at first when I saw how far they had taken me but I felt my body and knew it would get me to shore, so I had faith and swam as hard as I could. Before I knew it I had scraped me knee on the sand and was sitting on the shore, laughing and shaking in the cold. I laughed more and stared at the stars, excited that I was able to save myself from the tide and that I was braver than I had imagined. I looked at my body and was amazed it was capable of performing as it did, but took pride in myself for just a moment to know it is capable of far more than I give it credit for. I’m always thinking of how my body fails me in so many ways but I see it’s capable of giving me a nice surprise.

there are often days where I think of how I hope to be or how I am
and I wish I were like a bored or sleepy child
unphased by where I am or by what the future holds
and could simply exist in each moment and be indifferent to all that life brings me
but to hear my friend’s laugh as he holds a beer, staring at the ocean, or see the seagulls above who seem not to notice the filth around us
I see the worth in just being sad and enjoying the night sky with someone I care about

drinking a beer with Neil in a jolly hotel in Valdosta. It’s a funny town. Today in Macon a little girl named Destiny followed me around a thrift store. Then I found the first Marvin Gaye LP in a flea market, There’s a Riot Going On for Amy, and then goofy records for Blake and Tim.

In south Georgia a gentleman explained to Neil and I that he had been mistaken for Little Richard all his life and talked for half an hour to us about ghosts and women.

It’s been a nice day.

Things I’m taking with me on my travels:

cameras
computer
tape stock
comfort in my love of Blake, Amy, Stephen, Tim, Ray, Julian, Nesey and Neil
things friends have made me for good luck
pens and paper
warm clothes
sense that everything will be okay and that all of my friends are safe and insulated in the love we feel for one another